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FAQs

Consent should never be confusing. Learn the basics about consent below and to dive deeper, buy our books on consent by clicking the button below.

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Q: What is consent?

  • Consent is a clear, voluntary, and informed agreement to participate in intimacy or bedroom activity.

  • It must be given freely, without pressure, manipulation, threats, or intimidation.

  • It can be given verbally or through clear actions, but silence or lack of resistance is NOT consent.

  • Consent can be withdrawn at any time, even if activity has already started.

  • Consent must be ongoing. A person can stop at any time, even if you already started.

Q: What is sexual assault?

  • Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact or behavior without consent.

  • It includes touching, groping, coercion, forced acts, or continuing after someone says no or withdraws consent.

  • It also includes situations where someone cannot consent (unconscious, asleep, intoxicated, or underage).

Q: What is rape?

  • Rape is a form of sexual assault involving penetration without consent, no matter how slight.

  • It can happen through force, coercion, intimidation, manipulation, or when someone cannot legally consent.

Q: How else do consent violations occur?

1. Stealthing- Removing protection during intimacy without the other person’s knowledge or agreement.

2. Revenge porn- Sharing or threatening to share private intimate photos or videos without permission.

3. Sexual coercion- Pressuring, guilt-tripping, threatening, or wearing someone down until they give in.

4. Unwanted touching- Touching intimate areas without permission.

5. Recording without consent- Filming or photographing intimate activity without permission.

Q: Can sexual assault happen in a marriage?

  • Yes. Marriage or a relationship does not equal permanent consent. There is no such thing as permanent consent as feelings around intimacy can change at any time and that's okay. 

  • Every encounter still requires consent. Consent can be given non-verbally and either party can deny consent at any time.

Q: Can sexual assault happen in LGBTQ+ relationships?

  • Yes. Consent applies regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. Anyone can be a survivor, and anyone can be a perpetrator. There are countless homophobic stereotypes when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community. We debunk these stereotypes in Consent 101 in Chapter ______. Sexual assault in LGBTQ+ relationships is often mocked, ridiculed, not taen seriously, or even sexualized. 

Q: Can someone change their mind after saying yes?

  • Yes. Consent can be withdrawn at any time.

  • Once someone withdraws consent, activity must stop immediately.

Q: Is consent required every time?

  • Yes. Consent must be given each time, even with long-term partners.

Q: Is silence consent?

  •  No. Silence, freezing, or lack of resistance does not equal consent.

Q: Can someone consent while drunk or high?

  • If someone is impaired, unconscious, or unable to make clear decisions, they cannot consent.

Q: What does enthusiastic consent look like?

  •  Clear words like “yes,” “I want this,” or “keep going", showing active participation, displaying comfort, mmutual excitement, not hesitation or fear.

Q: What is coercion?

  • Using pressure, guilt, manipulation, authority, or threats to obtain agreement. Consent given under pressure is not true consent.

Q: Does clothing, flirting, or past activity equal consent?

  • Absolutely not. Consent must be given in the present moment, regardless of clothing, behavior, or history.

Q: What if someone freezes and doesn’t say no?

  • Freezing is a common trauma response that is governed by our brain. It's something we have luterally no contrl over. Lack of resistance is not consent.

Q: Can consent be implied?

  • Never. Consent must be clear and mutual. Assumptions are not consent.

Q: What if someone said yes before but says no now?

  • Consent is specific to the moment and can change at any time. It's totally find to change your mind, It's uhman, Noe one should ever make you feel bad about changing your mind when it comes to sex. A healthy partner is rescpectful and understanding.

Q: How can I ask for consent?

 

Consent can naturally be slipped in to create the mood. Consent NEVER ruins the mood. It sets the tone for fuin and can be used as a form of flirting to build excitement. For 100 ways to ask for consent, make sure you buy Consent 101!

Simple examples:

 

  • “Do you want this?”

  • “Is this okay?”

  • "Can I continue?"

  • “How does that feel?”

  • “Should I keep going or do you want me to stop?"

Q: Why is consent important?

  • It protects autonomy, safety, and trust and it ensures all intimacy is mutual and respectful. Consent is important cuz we live in a world where sexual assault is so normalized, sexual predators are rarely prosecuted.

Q: What should I do if my consent was violated?

  • Prioritize your safety.

  • Reach out to someone you trust.

  • Consider medical care if needed.

  • Reporting is your choice. It's a very personal decision that no one should pressure you into.

  • Focus on healing and self-care. 

Q: How do I know if I’ve been sexually assaulted?

 

  • If intimacy or sexual contact happened without your clear, voluntary agreement, it may be sexual assault.

  • If you said no, froze, felt pressured, were manipulated, or were unable to make a clear decision, it was not true consent.

  • If someone ignored your boundaries, removed agreed-upon protection, or continued after you wanted to stop, your consent was violated.

  • Confusion, delayed realization, or mixed feelings are common—lack of consent is what defines assault, not how you reacted in the moment.

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